Monday, July 23, 2007

Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound and scores!

This is what it looks like when you are the goalie. But you really don't focus on those black bars, even though they are right in front of your eyes. Your mind tunes them out and all you see is the skater and the puck.

As for Jesus as goalie, I'm not so sure Gretzky could score if Jesus was in net but I am pretty sure Jesus has a higher save percentage than I do. In the meantime, I've been paying some attention to Jay Bakker and his Revolution church. You can check out video clips on youTube by searching One Punk Under God.

The core principle at Revolution seems to be grace as demonstrated on their stickers: "As Christians, we're sorry for being self-righteous judgmental bastards."

It's a next level jump.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Newimals: The Pigrate Hunt
By Ian Sands

Chapter One: A New Room

Becky and I took two steps into the cold room.

“This is where you’ll sleep,” said Aunt Sax, our new guardian. “At least, when we are here.”

I glanced around. If it weren’t for the two beds and a small wooden dresser, the room would be empty. No toys, no posters, not even a clock. I placed my square, blue suitcase on the end of the first bed. It contained everything I owned.

“Don’t bother unpacking,” said Aunt Sax. “We leave in the morning.” She turned and left but the tangerine smell of her perfume stayed in the room.

Becky sat on the edge of the bed. She removed the heart-shaped sunglasses that matched her pink sparkle jeans. “This sucks,” she said.

“Mom wouldn’t like you saying that word.”

“Well Kaden, mom’s not here.”

Becky was right. Mom wasn’t here and mom wasn’t going to be here. Not now, not soon, not ever. Becky’s eyes watered. She put her glasses back on.
I thought I should change the subject. I stuck my nose in the air and took a big sniff.

“At least Aunt Sax smells nice.” I said, which was furthest from the truth.
Becky released a laugh that ended in a sniffle. “Yeah, if you like the smell of grapefruit.”

I flipped open the latch of my suitcase then quickly shut it again. “I get the feeling Aunt Sax thinks this sucks too.”

Becky fiddled with the strap that held a camera around her neck. “Kaden, mom wouldn’t like you using that word.”

“Mom’s not here,” I said. We had gone full circle.

Strange Beach Creatures Part 2

Here are three more strange creatures discovered on our morning walks.

First up, The Portuguese man-of-war.

Isn’t he cute? Yes, cute because he is wash up on shore, which is much better then when he is swimming with me.

Here is what I learned about this funky jellyfish:

Man-of-war stings can be serious. Anyone who is stung by the tentacles and develops breathing difficulties or generalized body swelling should be transported to the nearest emergency facility for treatment. In extreme cases, death can result from anaphylactic shock associated with man-of-war toxin exposure.

Next up, giant clam.

This clam tried to eat my hand. I have a big hand. I hope he choked. It took everyone in our crew to pry this giant guy off me. But no hard feelings because this little clam was only a puppy. Someday he will grow to be 70 feet long.

Last but not least, a wish shell.

How lucky to find one! I’m sure you are familiar with the powers of the wishing shell. If you find one you have two choices.

Choice one: ask for up to three wish.
Choice two: hold the wishing shell for an entire day and then you can pass it on to anyone else for up to four wishes.

While the four wishes sounds better, over coming the three wish temptation takes an incredible amount of will power. Either way, when the day is over you must toss the shell back into the ocean to restore the shell’s wish capabilities.
Strange Beach Creatures Part 1

We are back from our expedition with several strange creatures to share.

First up is this little crab. We found him on one of our morning walks when we weren't even looking for creatures, just coffee. He was about the size of a quarter with these cool little markings on his back that looked like a face.

At first I thought this wouldn't be such a hard species to identify. It seemed to me that crabs with faces on their backs would pop up all over Google. I was mistaken. No faced-backed crabs came up on any searches.

Then it got exciting. What if we discovered a new species?? Would we get to name it? Could it be named after me?? The ian-crab or maybe crabian! Crabian could pose for all the crab romance novel covers.

After a more extensive search I believe what we discovered were strange markings on a not so strange crab. In photos found on Google, the columbus crab (also sometimes called the turtle crab, sargassum crab or the gulf weed crab) appears very similar to our crab with the large white marking (which looks like the mouth on our crab) being fairly common. The two dots (which look like eyes) makes this little crab special and worthy of today's strange animal posting.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Pigrate Funding Come through

Last minute notice!!! Our team received funding for another pigrate hunting expedition. We are leaving at the crack of dawn... uhmm.. first thing tomorrow morning... after church....

Next update; upon our return. ETA: one week

Friday, July 06, 2007

Famous Fourth of July People

Spent the 4th of July at Bull Durham Stadium. You know, like the movie… Kevin Costner plays Crash Davis…

Larry: Excuse me, but what the hell's going on out here?

Crash Davis: Well, Nuke's scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man's here. We need a live... is it a live rooster? We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose's glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present.

Larry: Okay, well, uh... candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let's get two! Go get 'em.

Hotdogs, fireworks, baseball all very American. Well, maybe not the fireworks but…

Then I spied through my telescopic lens more famous people. I’m not sure if you can tell because they were so well hidden from the paparazzi behind their dark sunglasses but also at the game were famed illustrator and mandolin extraordinaire Tim Lee and his wife, children’s book author/illustrator and swim mom, Karen Lee.

Now I’m off to sell my photo to People Magazine or the SCBWI Bulletin…